Dark day

Being bipolar and having a dark day is literally like there’s a part of you that’s missing you want to get up and you just can’t and then make it to a chair and that’s as far as you can go… that’s something. I look at food and feel nothing colors are darker everything seems a little less like you’re looking through foggy lenses Everything feels less like a bad movie. Attempting anything is an accomplishment. The only thing that comes on its own is the despair and tears here and there.limbs are heavier.thoughts are like a race car video game zooming by and crashing then starting over. Everything hurts or I feel nothing at all. Usually the pain is better than nothing though. It’s cold it’s all cold and off center. It’s a flood into an ocean so full whatevers at the bottom drowning has been forgotten.its been anchored down and has now become part of the darkness. It’s so dark you don’t know if you’re still you or who if you’re lost or exist at all.

I just want to hit the bottom today already so I can come back up…

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