Some times the man I wake up with isn’t the one I fell in love with. He’s meaner colder lazier and sometimes just lets me down. Sometimes I don’t even like him. I love him. But I don’t want to look at him im grateful he works on my days off cause I don’t want to fight or deal with his temper because I want time to not worry what his mood who he will be that day. Because I’m his wife not his mother and I don’t want to deal with whatever he’s lacking in or demons he’s fighting today cause I have my own. I have the kids I have a life I need to continue to move through and I’m sick of being held back sometimes.i don’t want to not by myself Starbucks because I don’t let him eat out all the time. We’ll guess what I make more I earn more I know it’s our money and it pays the bills first buys us nice things and gives us a life I want but. That extra money I earned. It’s also not my fault I can’t give you a 5 for tacos cause your going to buy one taco and a half pint of vodka so if I wanna go buy a fucking chai latte I don’t wanna feel bad cause I earned it I can be trusted I will buy you one too but yeah we don’t have a joint account cause I can’t fucking trust you with the money. And not trusting you with some things makes me honestly not trust you with most things.. and I hate that but it is not my fault it is yours ok. And stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time and try harder.