All it takes is one reminder to remember your not perf3ct. You’ve made mistakes. Your not forgiven. That who you are isn’t good enough. That’s it’s not okay to be you. Your thoughts betray you. Your not that funny. Not that pretty not that smart. Good isn’t great. Well isn’t enough. That’s not normal. Yiu are accepted despite not because of…sometimes it sounds like a compliment when your in the right mood you appreciate being different that weirdness until someone points it out a specific way a way that u should be embarrassed ashamed to close your mouth and follow with the other sheep. 

All it takes to knock you out of bliss is to trip and once you trip with disorder you fall…down down down into a rabbit hole getting darker and wider and far away from vice of reason. You know you should be ok yiu tell yourself it’s ok you know it is but u feel yourself going crashing going to this dark side where reality is a blur around you of normal people and yiu feel like a ghost you wish you were a ghost cause any moment they’re going to realize your not normal your not one of them your inhuman an alien something why can’t you control yourself your emotions why do you have to am keeping am effort to live why would you want to cut how is that a release why do you need something to shock you perhaps physically back into life feeling and emotions.

Why is this something so so so so hard 


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