Reassurance

How quickly things can change it takes years to let go of things and in one moment all the fears can come back. When something reminds you of that fear it’s back full force and it’ll take time for it to fade back to nothing. Things have been so good but one similar action. A question that is meant to put you in a specific place. I place where you have less control or none and something inside you shatters again. The glue holding you together isn’t strong enough there will always be sensitive spots and the reflection will never be the same again. The thoughts memories make my heart ache and hands shake. They make me scared and furious all at the same time. Whyd you have to make me remember that fear. What’s worse is I was thinking life was perfect and maybe you didn’t mean anything by it but it put the fear back and with that comes anger and resentment. My courage and strength and pride running away as I shrink a little smaller again. Unable to stand tall next to you falling in place behind you. Unable to smile even when I want to for a moment because I feel this weight on me. The weight of fear is exhausting and sickening.  Maybe you needed reassurance but you took mine.

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