letting it

letting go seems to be what people do when moving forward but what about letting it in? sometimes it takes the moment of looking up from where your at to see where you can go. there is more than just where your at. there is more than just one path. not all are right but more than one could me. I want to stop telling myself to let go of the bad and let in the good. let in the happiness I can have and the options of more. letting myself feel and not being scared to. I want in the option of being a better person and not looking at the person I am as who i’ll always be but a part of who I will be. letting  in life. I woke up and decided to go for it for more. signed up for classes that I really didn’t want to take to further a career I really didn’t see myself in. then it hit me I don’t hate my job. its not writing but I actually enjoy it so let it in you can like more than one thing and you can better yourself in more than one way and direction. I want to write and I want to move up in my current position too. I want to be a good parent and I want to be me. trying to be perfect and not think of my needs only hurts my attitude which can hurt my kids with a negative grumpy mom. I wanted to help my partner by not drinking around him by walking on eggshells and being who he needed me to be but he took it for granted and didn’t want to change. he isn’t changing but I am. so i’m letting it all in. who I am what I need what I want what I am what I could be and i’m not going to lie its scary. but I feel something and its not for him this time.

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