Nightmares …
Am i in a nightmare no this is real. Sometimes i wonder how long it would take for someone to know i was missing unless it had to do with my kids. Thats when they would notice dishes piled up laundry piled up. No food. Wheres jay? That lazy bitch. Ha.


usually mine are me trying to find time to  get everything done and i never do and the stress drags me down. But now after Im completely overworked and overwhelmed in my dreams he comes and attacks me for just the reason  that Im me Im a screw up i  am just not good enough to be wanted and loved by him just dragged through the mud. Ugh idk. Then i wake up panicked and cant function through the day every few moments i remember & get scared of this person in my dreams and panic. Im scared all the time always. Nervous, needy, not me and no one notices..

I fell asleep last night on the couch he came to help me i awoke to him over me and thought he was attacking he seemes shocked but i was still scared when i went to bed while he stayed up watching tv when i awoke at 1 am he was asleep on couch i awoke him to come to bed then layed there scared all night…. Im a zombie and no one notices